FallenAngel2K12

Ok... This makes almost no sense to me. I tried forgetting him, I tried hard. I wanted nothing more than to get him out of my mind and move on with me life. Then he says he wants me back.... Now, I took him back. But my question is, is he going to hurt me again? Is this gonna be one of those times when I end up regretting my decision? I certainly hope not. I dont want to have to regret all the time and love I've given him. I've been involved with him for 4 months, and honestly when I first met him, I had no idea how important he'd end up being to me. A year ago, I never would've guessed I'd be in the position of life that I am right now. I've even had some of my friends tell me that they think my BF is adorable and cute and all that stuff. (They're right. He's absolutely amazing) But I can't help thinking maybe in trying to get him out of my head, I just made myself think about him more often. I think my problem is I was lying to myself in thinking I didn't need him. :/ Eh, Life is confusing. I'll figure it out eventually. ^_^

He's moved on to someone new. I guess there's nothing else to be said. He doesn't love me anymore and I guess I'll just have to accept that no matter how painful it may be. Well I've done my crying and hurting for the time being. I'll try to put on a happy front, then break down when I get home. Thats how it goes unless I'm in so much pain that I just cant stand it anymore. Then and ONLY then will I cry in class. Maybe my problem is that once I start loving someone, I think they are incapable of hurting me. Yeah that's way off base. People are capable of hurting you no matter who it is. Even if its someone you trust your life with. I only figured this out recently. Its almost like its a dream and I cant wake up because there's something I have to get out of this hellish nightmare before it ends. As time goes by it will get easier. But it will also be harder to forget him. I know I have to move on eventually but we all know how hard it is to forget someone that gave you so much to remember. I guess this is one of those times where crying is the only way you'll feel better. Thats a crappy way to feel better but at least its a way. But for me I want that to be an absolute last resort. If no one replies to my texts and nobody answers my call, then I'll cry and see if I feel better a half hour later. I just hope that at least the girl he loves now will make him as happy as he made me.

Ok so I'm getting extremely nervous... I asked my ex to take me back. I have very good reason for it to. He's my best friend as well as a boyfriend. Its very possible I'm a smidge crazy for wanting him back given that this is the 3rd time he's broken up with me. But I really dont care. If a girl is stupid enough to take a guy back after he hurt her, that shows she still wants to be with him. I might be a little stupid but I will never forget the memories we shared. I want that all back again. It almost feels like my heart is missing with him not there.

So I apparently cant go through one day of school without someone insulting me, looking at me in a weird way, or even doing so much as laughing when I walk by. What did someone decide that I suddenly dont matter because of my size, or because of the things I like? Yeah that isnt how it works... Like my thing with pokemon. I love pokemon! Its my favorite Anime/Video game series from my child hood. Its a lot of fun and its fun to find other pokemon fans with which I can battle and defeat with them walking away shamed. I guess someone decided that that's immature and that they should point this out to me. I'm sorry but when was the last time someone ever woke up to please you? Oh yeah. NO ONE EVER HAS. Sometimes I wonder if the kids that are making these comments even have lives if they feel so low about their pathetic lives that they need to poke fun at my miniscule existence. I'm really disappointed in our generation.